People eat pearl powder. I get it. People use it in makeup and lotions. I get it. Mikimoto used to swallow two pearls every day. I don't really get that. But who is going to eat a pile of diamonds, gemstones and pearls?Julia Pergoliti of Cupid's Delight and Michael Dieckerman of Koro Fine Australian Jewellery are set to find out with the creation of the worlds most valuable cake. This AUD$3 million cake should, according to them, set a new Guinness World Record.
Now that is an expensive cake. There is no arguing that point. Those two are putting a lot of work into getting that world record, no doubt. But if I were getting ready to drop AUD$3 million on a gem and pearl-infused cake, I would do my research first!
In Osaka, Japan, a chocolate cake was on display with a supposed price tag of one billion yen, more than double the tag of the Australian pastry. It was called the most expensive chocolate cake in the world! Comments on the story seem to debate that price tag, but if I were dropping AUD$3 million, you bet your ass I would figure out the real story.
Japan has a history of expensive cakes with this $2.3 million-dollar whopper. Some people just have too much time/money on their hands!
Posts
596 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1 – 200 of 596 Newer› Newest»I'm glad you understand why some people eat pearls but I wonder if crushed carbon has any effect on the body?
I know some diamond dust made from industrial poor quality diamonds are crushed and used in diamond peel to abrade the rough surface layers of the skin reveling a more flawless complexion afterwards but I'm not sure I should get into it since it is still very expensive and there are cheapear ways of skin peeling.
Poor quality pearls however are the ones crushed for beauty and health purposes. Only Cleopatra would have the courage to desolve a priceless pearl as long as she gets what she wants and we all know she's into LOVE, MONEY & POWER!
If only she didn't committed suicide she could have owned the world and not just the Roman Empire. All bcoz of her priceless black pearl!
That is one pretty cake... bit rich for my tastes, but elegant. And who says money can't buy style?
I want a slice of that and some Black Pearls Cognac. Yum.
Yo. It's halloween dudes. can i get some slice in my candy bag. i just want the pearls. youz can eat the rest of that c-r-a-p. can go well wit some Cristal or whatever the shit that is. i don't know because i'm poor. yeah. poor. but smart enough to know the cake should be recyecled. down the shit box. watch it twirl like the crap it is. fucked up man. i realy mean it. man is fucked up.
In Germany, we stuff the armangac macerated French prunes with marzipan and cover them in dark chocolate. That's a staple fall dessert normally accompanied with hot tarte tatin ála mode. I usually skip the dinner bit and do desserts only.
While living in Germany I hardly ever managed to weigh a gram over 50kg. Here it is different. Almost twice as different. By the way, I found a site that specializes in some pretty good German chocolates and candies.
http://www.martinbergimport.com/catalog.asp?
Major=Hachez+-+Chocolate
They even have the fairytale chocolate which is undoubtedly Hachez' best even though I am not normally the milky type.
I just found a treasure trove on eBay
(http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZwwwbest-german-food-storecomQQhtZ-1)
They have Marabu chocolate, Yogurette, Manitou's Shoe (extra large), and all kinds of goodies.
well what do you know. can it be that pearl nonsense connoisseur herself has come back to life? hey z.e. maybe your ass is getting fat because you can't stop stuffing your face with bon bons..... and stop digging into the fruit loops cereal.
Maybe I should start a new weightloss exercise. Just pile on another pearl strand every day or so and make your body believe that it still weighs as much as before but really its all pearls and gemstones
Maybe you should go on a sauerkraut diet.
Choucrout is fine with me but essentially French. Germans do not actually eat much sauerkraut. The Bavarians do, but the rest of Germany has only recently recognized that their vocalizations are supposed to resemble human speech.
H-E-L-L-O. You should "expand" your diet to include fresh fruits and veggies. That would stop the "other expansion".
Germans do not eat sauerkraut? We invented sauerkraut. Oh now I am convinced you are crazy. You are very crazy. I don't think you are a German. I am a German. I think you are French.
An article in economist magazine reported on a fascinating study that found that leafy greens (broccoli, spinach, brussels sprouts, kale etc..) block thyroid function thus lending creedence to Sandry Boynton's conjecture as postulated in her eminent work Chocolate The Consuming Passion that maybe it is not the pound of chocolate you ate that is making you fat but rather the piece of vegetable to ate before or after. If it was a leafy green, she might just be right. She used carrots as an example but she may be forgiven for this wrong guess.
Theobromine actually increases your thyroid function and thus metabolic rate and your pancreas overloads on the biofeedback from your blood sugar and bloodfat reducing its insulin output and general function. That means the fat and sugar from your chocolate intake after 50g total consumption will pass through your system bioneutral. So you will actually lose weight on a limited chocolate-only diet.
When I was skinny I lived on an almost chocolate only diet (with compulsive carrot chompim on the side). My average daily caloric intake was around 4000kcal and I weight about 49kg. Now that I am a wholegrain and veggie eater (my other family members are the carnivores, not me) I am fat on a 1000kcal per day total intake. Kathrine Hepburn lived virtually on a chocolate only diet and never gained a gram after teenage.
Z.E., I'm sorry about your mysterious steadily ballooning weight and that you are so fat now. It would help if you told us where your excess fat is mostly located. The hips, the butt, the fingers, the neck or the head?
Here is a recipe that may be of particular interest to you. There's chocolate(for weight loss!) and sauerkraut to battle chronic constipation. ENJOY, Z.E.!
Sauerkraut Chocolate Cake
2/3 cup margarine or butter
1-1/2 cups sugar
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
2-1/4 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup water
2/3 cup drained sauerkraut, rinsed and chopped
Whipped Cream Frosting
1-1/2 cups heavy cream, well chilled
3 tablespoons sugar
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour one 9 X 13 baking pan or two 8-inch square or round baking pans.
In large bowl, thoroughly cream margarine with sugar. Beat in eggs and vanilla. In another large bowl, sift together cocoa, flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt; add dry mixture alternately with water to egg mixture. Stir in sauerkraut.
Spoon into prepared baking pans. Bake about 30 to 35 minutes, or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean and cake begins to pull away from sides of pan. Let cool. Invert cakes to remove from pans. Spread Whipped Cream Frosting on top of sheet cake or one round cake and top with second cake and frost top and sides.
Whipped Cream Frosting Whip cream with sugar until soft peaks form. Makes about 3 cups.
If you think that I will ever eat sauerkraut chocolate cake, you must be mistaken most gravely. I'd rather chew off my toe nails.
For me, it typically starts in early November when I get the California Blues. The lack of snow starts driving me crazy and I get this insatiable urge to make the perfect Lebkuchen. I scour every little boutiquy thingy for the perfect addition to my Christmas ornament collection and develop a need for hot chocolate in the afternoon and claret in the evening unless it is actually cold enough to have an outrigh Glühwein. Oh dear, one of the things I miss most about not living in Hamburg anymore is the Ice Festival when the Alster freezes solid and everybody goes ice skating and having Elisenlebkuchen and Glühwein.
I may be a little stingy with whatever I have left of
my Professorns Glöck that I brought home with me from my Germany vacation last year. I used to bake and elaborately decorate marzipan cookies but that was when the children were younger and more appreciative. Somehow I cannot get the motivation up to bake fancy Christmas cookies in California, though. Where we last lived we at least had some semblence of a winter and that always gets me humming carols and start baking but California is drawing a complete blank for me Christmas spirit-wise. I rather change my creative urges to jewelry making.
This is all just too funny. Next thing you know Napoleon is going to make another appearance...
These blog comments are so amazing it's a little scary. In the midst of making my first chocolate cake, I was also web surfing, and low and behold….
I loath German sauercraut. Try Korean spicy kim chi or Japanese natto in that cake recipe. Yummy.
$mas is a distressingly saccharin time of the year here in California with all the faux Christians out and about wishing you whatnot and wanting donations. For some reason wasting electricity on gaudy illuminated reindeer and "Happy Birthday Jesus" signs seems to be a big deal, too.
Thanks to my European splurging in mouthblown glass-glitterdom, I do not have to glitter things up around Yuletide. However, I do bring out the castlewear with painted-stem wine glasses, brocade throws, caldelabras, and the like. I briefly contemplated decorating the tree this year with strands of the more damaged Heilongjians but abandoned that plan because that's way too heavy. However, my Christmas tree is typically overladen and I do use pyrite pebbles spread around the candelabra on the damasque table cloth for Christmas dinner.
I used to love to cook when we still lived in Europe where food worth cooking is readily available. What I can get here in California is hardly worth the effort. The family suggests having Turducken for Christmas this year. There will be copious amounts of home made Apfelrotkohl, potato dumplings, Steinpilzsoße, and home-made wholegrain bread, too.
I think I am going to regret asking this....but WTF's a turdukin? Does the professor know? Or does he only know about pearls.
A de-boned turkey, stuffed with a de-boned duck, stuffed with a de-boned chicken, of course.
I am sorry Professor you have left out one other important stuffing ingredient. A turducken is a deboned turkey stuffed with a deboned duck stuffend with a deboned chicken that has been stuffed with yet something else but typically sausage meat. The whole thing gets covered with bacon strips and is then roasted for ever and a day preferably in an earth oven although a regular one will do, too. Yum, yum, yum, drool, dig in.
Turducken is about as tasty as it gets although I read somewhere that they had even more tasty stuff in Quebec like baby seal simmered in its own fat with this cheese-french-fries-and-gravy concoction as a side dish. Maybe the author was exaggerating though after having seen the congealed mass of icky stuff. What was that called again Professor?
It's not turdukin, it's turducken, you lame brain(not you Prof.). And if you are having problems pronouncing it, it's: (dat-zfuckin-Nas-tee).
I wonder if the whole disgusting-and-gross-stuffing-fest would cook any faster if someone bombarded the thing with gamma rays?
What kind of wine would be in order here? Red? White? Listerine?
Yes, what was that called again professor? Admit it, you are finally stumped!!! So you don't know everything. So what? So you know some things but not all things. It could be worse. At least you are not being rectally probed by an alien. Although being questioned by Zeide Erskine comes close...
Seal is a dark meat, as black and shiny as anthracite, so red wine seems appropriate. On the other hand, it comes from the sea, so white wine with sea food, no?
You know, Z.E., stuffing your face with chocolates, candy and grease-laden turd-ucken is maybe the reason for your large bulk. Stop shovelling it in and you may end up losing a hundred pounds or so of flab. Put a cork in it!
B. Lazar---I'm asking what kind of wine goes well with turducken NOT seal meat. How does one say dumb-ass in German?
The professor is stumped???? That's a first. It's a SAD* day.
*standard American diet
Who the hell cares about how fat someone is! The professor(and whoever ZE is) are wrong, wrong, wrong!! If you wrap a turducken in bacon, it becomes a turbaconducken. Take a look for yourselves at...
http://bacontoday.com/turbaconducken-turducken-wrapped-in-bacon/
Z.E..... what about the Bacon Cheddar Potato Wedges they have at Jack in the Box? Have you tasted those?
Has bacon, has cheese, has potato. YES!! SO TASTY!
You have to add sour cream.
Hi Folks,
I love to cook and am very good at it but I don't eat very much. I am still fat but that is more due to lack of exercise than eating too much. Since we moved to California I seem to be finding all the weight that other people are losing. Otherwise I cannot account for this odd weight gain.
What the bubble-wrap-fart is "castleware and painted-stem wine glasses"? Why do they only come out for Christmas? Why do I even care? Tell me!!!
It is the stem of a wine glass made of pewter and I painted an angel on it who looks drunk because it reminds me of one of those really tacky Italian wood carvings that haunt Florentine churches. Owing to my family heritage, this is an inside joke.
Zeide, if I remember correctly from a description you gave of yourself on the Pearl Guide Forum, you are a tall woman with very long hair.
Many a fat woman has chosen to let her hair grow long in order to hide rolls of neck fat from public view. I think you have wisely picked up on this visual slimming secret that de-emphasizes the "bad" cholesterol cascading down a fat neck. As always, you are on top of things. No one can deny you not being brilliant in every way.
Zeide Erskine, contrary to what you may have been told by smart-alecks behind you in line at Jack In The Box, fat CAN BE transferred to others, although efforts to ban so-called "trans-fats" are now in the works. How is this transferral perpetrated?? Why simply by distracting the proposed "receptor"(that's you, fat-ass) with an alarming comment such as, "Oh my God, Zeide Erskine, you dropped your priceless Lop Noors!" or "Look, Zeide, isn't that Michael Baigent at the front of the line."
I find that people are much less likely to dog on someone's fat-ass when the fat-assed person clearly demonstrates that they have acquired multiple PhD's due to their highly developed super-calculating brain and therefore have an answer for everything and are able to devastate critics with snarky comebacks.
Zeide's Law: A brain of mega-genius proportions will always win out to a fat ass of mega-chunky proportions.
Hey! Z! So this is where you've been hiding!! Why don't you come back to Pearl Guide???? Lots of members would love it if you did....
And speaking weight gain and appropriate snacking goodies, have you ever tried those sausages(on a stick!) that are dipped and deep fried in batter with dark chocolate chips in it? I forget what they are called. Piggly Wiggly carries them here in South Carolina. Wouldn't the dark chocolate chips in the batter kind of negate the sausage fat and deep fried grease? Just an idea.
Has anyone tried strawberry-and-pepper-flavored Hachez chocolate yet. That tastes good.
Isn't "dumbass" Dumpfbacke in German.
Yum, yum, delicious. Those sausages are good but I've seen tastier things in our California supermarkets though. One of them I have dubbed Oakie sushi (itty bitty cheeseburgers) and they are my favorite. I have to remember to leave myself some room when devouring them like some kind of breakfast cereal.
hachez chocolate? that is like eating candle wax with some chocolate flavor thrown in for simulation. no real chocolate lover would ever buy that shit let alone eat it
by fat ass do you mean a fat ass like J Lo or Kim Kardashian? Sweet....
Please note that Hachez makes dessert chocolate. It is not the stand-alone delight kind of Domori & Co but rather the chocolate fix after dinner. The gimmicky ones like the Romanov (strawberry and pepper) are highly conched so that the weaker tastes can survive next to the chocolate flavor. They do make good dark chocolate, too, but that is never mixed with other flavors. Their strongest point, however, is their milk chocolate (Märchenschokolade) that does a wonderful job of bringing the basic candy lover on the path to true chocolatanity.
Zeide, I always pictured you as a young and beautiful female Indiana Jones of pearl hunting. Tell me that the description of your ass is not true! Please!
It just can't be! I've had dreams about you and your small and fit ass( I'm a bit of a perv). Don't burst my bubble with visions of some big and flabby fat ass! Noooooooo!!!!!!!!
z.e. didn't you say in an earlier comment that you were a vegetarian. why are you smacking your lips at turdunken. why are you drooling at sausages. why are you eating mini cheese burgers.
most importantly, what is so funny about your family heritage.
I don't know what it is about super-sized people that
brings out the worst in our fellow man. You are all so very cruel and I, for one, am going to write this post with a different attitude......Zeide have you heard about the website below? It may be of help.
http://www.bigjohntoiletseat.com/
Finally we are not having trurducken for Christmas dinner and at least I got everybody in the family to agree to have some properly Native American hunted deer roast that I had shipped frozen from South Dakota.
tell you the truth...big fat ass women scare the shit out of me. I look into their eyes and all I can see is them thinking of ways to baste and cook me.
Fastfood joints should have big fat ass special parking spaces like handicap parking except with the opposite in mind where big fat ass parking is further away so the big fat asses have to walk more in order to pork out.
Zeide, you could do the earth a B-I-G favor by having your ample behind and any other body ampleness liposuctioned and then converted into human fat biodiesel. That could run the luxurious Maserati you own for quite a while! Think of all the money you could save for buying enchanted pearls instead! Mind you, if you can afford a Maserati...
Hi
I hope you are all having pleasantly potted New Years Eve. (Potted used to mean "a bit drunk")
2006, the annus zeidulus. I have lots of communications from Zeide. I actually cultivated her for a time. This one is the first I ever got. I asked her for pictures from her collection
"Since you were so keen on seeing pictures I am sending you a
selection of exotic pearl photos and if you want more, please let me
know. The "ruby red" are from Lop Noor in Turkestan. It took me over
20 years to track them down and collect enough for a strand. The "bat pearls" are the result of trying to culture tissue-nucleated crosses in hyriopsis cumingii mussles that suffer from porphyria (untreated),
the "Big Kahuna" are a triple strand of untreated 10-11mm anodonta
(also called alasmidonta or alasmodonta) woodiana tissue-nucleated
pearls in natural color, the "Kamtchatka" are a strand of Frankboner
pearls tissue-nucleated in haliotis kamtschatkana (untreated), the
"double rose" are a double strand of untreated lamprotula (beauty
shell" tissue nucleated untreated pearls with a carved angelskin
coral clasp in 14k with a drop of pinctada imbricata natural of
padparadscha color.
Sincerely,
Zeide G. Erskine
The really stupid thing is, I actually believed her even though they all looked like Chinese cultured freshwaters.
So forgive me for posting anonomously
Zeide! What T F? It took you 20 years to collect enough Lop Nurs?? You told me it took you 25!!!!
Methinkst, Zeide, you are a bit of a liar. Sincerely.
And by the way, Zeide, I'd like to know what's up with your family heritage, too???? And why would you be startled by Micheal Baigent at the front of the line at Jack in The Box??
All very mysterious....
I got a letter from her about that... but first let me quote this one; "Trans-species grafting was pioneered by Masao Fujita at Lake Biwa in the 1920s. It requires working with hybrids (hyriopsis schlegeli/cumingii) that do not reject foreign tissue as easily and cold water temperatures the colder the better. Since hyriopsis only
recently (biologically speaking) evolved from pinctada, it also
tolerates most pinctada tissues. I have transgrafts from about every
species, freshwater and marine, with attractive nacre. And I know
that many of the grad students that worked on the project have gone on to do similar things elsewhere. By the way, if you have looked at the thoroughly incomplete but rather lengthy list of freshwater species and pictures of their nacre that I posted on the pearl guide forum, you may have seen that there are many dark-nacred freshwater
species.
Zeide ''
tHIS ONE IS SO MEAN!!!!! It is of course, a total lie!!!
"Yes, I knew Jeremy long before the forum was invented. I was the one who slapped him on the hand for inventing the phrase "Tahitian black" as a color description for dyed akoyas when he started out on eBay. But he's a good boy now. However, the forum was indeed turning into a shill site as Richard Wise calls it which is why I decided to put some well educated and scientific spunk into it. It seems to have worked. The site is now internationally popular and respected which
it was not just 3 months ago. I admit that was hijacking somebody
else's server space, but it is to the benefit of all not least
Jeremy. However, if I were him, I'd be getting rid of any thin-skinned akoyas ASAP. I heard the market is dying as we speak and the Strack book is outselling Harry Potter.
Zeide "
Here we go with the bloodline stuff:
My mother assigned Clan Mother of the Haida Nation Wolf Clan title to me when I had my daughter (the Haida are Nadene poeple and
matrilineal). My father was a Merowingian of the single line (that means although the heir to the line can have many children only one of them will have children of their own and then be the heir). In short, I really am the real deal. As such I not only have my personal collection but also the Merowingian treasure to take care of. That gives one some serious expertise in the jewel arena. Zeide"
There is more:
Holy Blood Holy Grail, has its own set of problems. For one, Michael
Biagent, Richard Leigh, and Henry Lincoln were falling for the
obvious fallacy of pursuing short-haired Catholic so-called
Merowingians. We, the real deal, have always remained jews and never cut our hair. It's the Samson and Delilah thing you know. The same fallacy was perpretrated in the Da Vinci Code but at least there with my permission in order to divert attention from my son and daughter. I certainly don't want any weirdos go after them. Let them look for their short-haired Catholics even if the true Merowingian line never had any of those. Fortunately, I have two heritages to choose from.My mother's family is strictly matrilineal and my father's line is strictly patrilineal. That would make me 100% Haida Wolf Clan Mother and 100% Holy Grail. Guess what I would prefer to do without? Not to mention that the authors of Holy Blood Holy Grail noticed their mistake in The Messianic Legacy but I would certianly protect my son from that BS. Why can't we all agree that religion is for those who like it and they should leave those who don't alone. Zeide"
Still more "Since the Ashkenazi are jews of the diaspora, we are obviously sephardic. My father was really adamant about the tradition, but I rather went with my Haida shamma (that's female shaman) maternal grandmother and adopted her cultural tradition Kosher food and not cutting your hair is compatible with both. Zeide" She has some wild imaginination, doesn't she?
More:"For personal reasons (the whole Merowingian ting and such) I prefer to keep my bio as much off the web as possible. However, the Strack book is going to give you a massive amount of information with loads of bibliography and all from an internationally recognized expert. I am well known in natural pearl dealer circles but we are a close-knit group. Zeide"
While I believed her about her pearl claims- I knew that none of this was true, so I kept trying to draw her out on her bloodline.
"The Merowingians are the original German royal house. The whole
French thingy goes back to Chlodwig (Clovis) who was an upstart of Roman descent as the word Frank (honrily discharged Roman legionnaire with land grant in holocausted country) indicates. The Gaul and Breton people that lived in the area where celtic folks. What is commonly and mistakenly called "caucasian" in U.S. American usage refers to the remainder of the Roman empire. The Merowingians were never French. We're Germans long hair and all. Zeide"
This was utter nonsense, so I made sure I kept everything she said. You know, just in case I wanted to pass it all on to Micheal Baigent
This one takes the cake!!!I kept asking her for references.....
"You can google Meroe sometimes also spelled Merowe, Dagobert, Mont Segur. That should give you the best internet resources. Most of which are for obvious reasons somewhat misleading. You may also read the Messianic Legacy which is the follow-up to Holy Blood, Holy
Grail. The Arthurian connection is that the knights of the Round
Table set out to find the holy grail. Only Parceval succeeded but
only returned to Camelot to resign his position there and disappear
to serve the grail. The Parzefalls have been first the Knights
Champion of our family and for the last few hundred years have been
the family lawyers.
Zeide"
This shit is so funny. I still figured she knew her pearls though. So I thought she was rather cuckoo because none of it could be true. Not in any history I knew about!
Back to Pearls.I'll wind up this session up with this one:
"I was just innocently browsing eBay and found this: http://cgi .ebay.com/c1920-PEARL-NECKLACE-DOUBLE-STRAND-
Now if that necklace has more than 3 or 4 cultured pearls I'll eat my
hat. This looks three miles against the wind of naturals, probably from the Indian Ocean (Tamil Nardu, Sri Lanka). I also doubt the 1920s. The clasp may be relatively new as these things tend to break and bend. The big ones in the center could possibly be Saville Kent cultured South Seas, but I doubt it. I only see 3 of the smaller ones that could possibly be cultured. I'll think a bit more about it
before bidding. Whattaya thunk?
Zeide"
Whew! mops brow
Z.E.: Oh, BTW. If you out me, I will post the really evil letters. Besides, I think you don't care if I rat you out as long as I spell your name right, right? We are doing our best to get you the world's attention thru the prof's blog
I hope you gorged on mediocre choclate this holiday season- I'd hate to see you skinny! I have a friend who likes Proactiv- maybe you should try it, especially for the pimples on your neck and back.
I am furious! I've got a Cartier bracelet sitting on my desk. It is one of my husband's many atrociously bad Christmas presents that as per usual are immediately buried in the safety deposit box at the bank and all I really get is the hyped mock croc jewel passport. Before we were married, though, I also got another bracelet (ho-hum dingy thingy in 18k with half a carat of diamond chips) and wore it for half a day and then he decided that I was not to be trusted with such precious mystiquery either. Somehow like my engagement ring that he took back right after my family got to admire it, sold the gold, and I got it back set as a pendant for our 10th wedding anniversary packed in a cheap rice cooker.
I read the above and thought, "Oh, I MUST STILL BE DRUNK from the New Year's festivities. I can't be reading this right!!"
Okay, forget the fantabulous Zeide pearl stories for a sec.---what, what, what is that about her and Merowingians??? ??????? Is she saying she is a descendant of Jesus and Jewish or something??? (GOD, please, no) Or is she saying she is a Mormon? (either way she's got the same fat ass) How can she be Jewish and celebrate Christmas???????!!!!! I hate to tell you this, Zeide, you fat ass liar, but Jews do not put up Christmas trees with ornaments and celebrate the birth of Christ with turdunkins or roast sides of deer.
Zeide, you have the Merowingian treasure to take care of!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Oh fuck, that is rich. Did you get it off eBay too??
Zeide, and what's the deal with slapping Jeremy Shepherd's hands and making him a good boy now???? Maybe you are mixing Jeremy up with your husband. You are an expert at mixing stuff up. Come on now, admit it, it is your husband you are bitch slapping around. Does he make disparaging comments about you being fat? Your widening fat ass in particular, maybe???
Oh and thanks so much, Zeide, you lying fat ass, for making the Pearl-Guide the success it is today. Yeah, I agree, without you and your confabulating, the forum has sure flourished.
P.S. I am sooooo enjoying this commentary!!!!
I am not a liar! My home town is Hamburg (at least that's where I spent most of my adult life) and they've got plenty of weird scientists there, yours truely included.
Hamburg is on the Elbe river and there is a whole sub-culture of Elves there. It's that Elbian stuff. That's where Tolkien milked all his Lord of the Rings ideas from. Even Rohan is a legitimate Prussian region at the border of Germany and Poland and guess what, yes, the Elbe flows through it.
Having überly long hair has something to do with that in Hamburg (and the general Elbian region formerly called Albion), you see an awful lot of people with very long hair including the guys even middle-age lawyers and executives.
That's part of our magic. Maybe you people should try growing your hair out, too, that saves a lot of money for hairdressers that can be much better employed on buying enchanting books and pearls.
Parsefalls? What's a Parsefall? Is that a surname? I can't find any lawyers in the yellow pages named Parsefall.
Our family lawyer is called Schmidt-Parzefall and his family has been serving my family for over 1500 years as knights champion and now as lawyers.
I spent the first 6 years of my life in Indonesia and sometimes that shows. I have plenty of saris and cholis that also would blend in just fine at any Jaipur jewel festival. The mock croc purses are also pretty darn good in that respect as are the chandelier earrings from Jaipur. Leave it to the Indians to make earrings that shame a sari. I also have some pretty kétaine shoes (ruby and sapphire sequined pumps) not to mention the pearl G strings. Those a pretty had to beat.
I am slowly getting this rather disgusting and despicable mental image of the person called Zeide G. Erskine. A tall, long haired, overweight(obese) woman with a substantial behind trussed up like a Holiday turkey in a pearl G-string and sitting at her computer all day long trolling a pearl forum and lying to anyone willing to receive e-mails from her.UUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH. Especially the G string! .......that does it, now I won't be able to keep anything down today. Thanks for helping me with my New Year's resolution diet there Zeide.
"packed in a cheap rice cooker"
Hahahahahohohoheeheeheeheehee. Your husband is a real gem. You can't make a story like that up.
Zeide wrote:"Somehow I cannot get the motivation up to bake fancy Christmas cookies in California, though. Where we last lived we at least had some semblence of a winter and that always gets me humming carols and start baking"
Sure, yeah I did not realize that some of us Ashkenazi Jews bake Christmas cookies and hum Christmas carols while baking the Christmas cookies. Do we hum the Christmas carols in Yiddish? Oy vey.
I also did not know that the Haida kept kosher. Especially since they consume shellfish and enjoy the occasional treat of seal blood.
Maybe I am just an old fashion Jew and not read up on the changing face of Judaism today.
"Our family lawyer is called Schmidt-Parzefall and his family has been serving my family for over 1500 years as knights champion and now as lawyers."
your 1500 years old. aw man not that vampire shit again. who ever heard of a big fat long haired momma vampire with some giant booty flab hanging off her and with pimples. don't vampires stay trim by only drinking blood of fit victims. they don't go wandering around jack in the box eating greasy junk. how can you fly around at night or climb buildings with some giant booty flab like that. vampires got to be able to hide behind trees and stuff too. you really are a crazy shit liar. man if you got caught in sunlight by accident you would fry. i really mean fry not crumble like a normal vampire. sizzzzzzzzzle. like an egg in a pan full of lard under the broiler. yeah scarey fat vampire....hear the sizzzzzle.
Hi Folks,
The Iban I grew up with in Indonesia were mostly scattered around Polynesia before the 2004 tsunami put the whole village 20 feet under the sea. The industries of choice became trading and working as farm hands on pearl farms. I would very much like to live like that. The day I can throw away my shoes is the day I will really be happy again. Isn't it funny that when you grow up in a no-shoe society that you never get used to them. I hate shoes with a passion. I hate bras, too, but not with the same fervor. I rather ignore them. It is not really that I hate shoes per se, I just detest wearing them and being in an environment where I have to wear them. Here in the U.S. there is a certain social obligation to put on a chest harness, but I defintely try to avoid such situations. What is this American obsession with trying to make women as uncomfortable as possible?
Hi Z.E,
Here is some more of your phoney pearl knowledge, from a communication 5/4/06:
"If I were really mean (which I am not) I would put up a link on the
Pearl Guide and warn everybody not to bid on it so I can have my pick
at it cheap. Anywho, the only person able to grow 11mm pearls before 1965 was William Saville Kent in Australia in the 1890-1900s. The look and light bend make it abundantly clear that these are not maximas but rather radiatas and their color places them in the
Straits of Manaar. The sizes and graduation gradient are also just
right. My bet is that they are far older but have been acquired
and/or restrung by the current owner's family in the 1920s.
On another note, congratulations to your naturally dark freshwater
pearls. So much about "There is no such thing" and "for sure not
whole strands." Sending Jeremy out with a shopping list seems to pay
off for the entire forum population. Now I have to convince him to go to Vietnam and Laos for naturally peacock black, tissue nucleated freshwater pearls. For everybody!
Zeide "
E.E: this one was so off the wall. It was a new subject, unsolicited by me:
"If I have not outweirded you yet, you may want to know that I use
eBay and now the pearl guide forum to find parallel incarnations of
myself. Danuta (Slraep) is one of them, other ones are (Follows a list of names and emails.)
"We all like the same kind of things and think alike but the most interesting feature is that we also speak or have a great affinity for Latin, knit, and cook. The group goes back to
Heloise and Abelard, we are Heloise and apparently the goal of the game is to keep Abelard out. We reincarnate together with a regular group from the Paraclete including a Mother Superior who has a penchant for wearing black and white and once owned a pig, Abelard a
publishing author/poet who wants to tell Heloise what to do and what to think. Anyhow, you may want to contact ******. I traded her several strands of remarkable naturals and a portrait of Yaqui
Northern Dreamer named Guadeloupe Villasenor. She may let you look at these treasures and hopefully you can See more in them than Connie does being somewhat Christian overindoctrinated. I am not quite sure yet whether and how you fit into that group, but maybe you can enlighten me here.
Zeide "
About this time, I thought you were delusional, but did know pearls.
I'll leave it here for tonight.
I was suppose to be a parallel incarnation of Zeide? I hate to cook and I look(and am) absolutely nothing like her!! My goodness, she is crazier than I ever imagined. Totally crazy. Yup, delusional. There must be a stronger word for it.
She traded several strands of remarkable naturals and a portrait of Yaqui Northern Dreamer named Guadeloupe Villasenor with someone? What the heck is that? What does that mean? I am awed by the magnitude of her craziness. And who the heck is Connie?
Oh yeah, Zeide has definitely outweirded me, that's for sure. I think she has outweirded everyone!
"I am well known in natural pearl dealer circles but we
are a close-knit group. --Zeide"
Oh really....and what close knit group, pray tell, would that be? It must be the circle of natural pearl dealers whose members are all former escapees from assorted lunatic asylums where they were housed because they could not stop their incessant pathological lying about absolutely everything and because of it have not a friend in the world so they now have to stick together. The very weird thing is....there is still only one member...Zeide Erskine.
I did not make this up! I do not feel comfortable about sharing personal contacts and information. I had not indepenently verified any species contributing to the pearl formation. I took peoples' word for most and forwarded the information.
My mother is from a band of Haidaburg Haida that left the area about the time of the Alaska purchase and moved to the whaling habor of Gothab where the acquired Danish citizenship. Later, most of them moved on to Ostfriesland which at that time belonged to yet some other country. Anyway, when Ostfriesland was allocated to Germany after some war or another they all became Germans by default. My mother's clan is Wolf and they maintained some cultural heritage although they have mostly assimilated to German mainstream culture.
As a collector, I collect. There is really nothing special about that. As a financial translator, I translate, and am earning my money by translating confidential material for investment banks. As a curious person I am curious. I never maintained that the transgrafts are any more valuable than Chinese freshwater pearls of the same size and quality. They are not. And certainly, they cost a whole lot less than South Sea PPBs of the same size and color. Provenance of cultured pearls should not command exorbitant premiums.
Trading among collectors is fine by me to support my pearling ventures but I do not want to take it to a commercial scale. That would up the pressure too
much and force me to buy things I do not really want and sell them on without true conviction of their quality and uniqueness. I prefer my little venture here and there.
As far as other collectors standing up and vouching for me, I will try to do that. I certainly am not going to put personal information out there or the location of the family castle.
The transgrafts are what they are and they were cultured in order to examine the behavior of immortal tissue in vivo. The Biwas were emphatically represented to me as Biwas and sure look the part, but at that time, I did and actually still do not know anybody who can come up with and ironclad lab report that is absolutely unambiguous.
Alright, I'll bite(vampires, get it??). Where is the family castle? I know that I am going to be very sorry for asking again but what the hell(more vampires, get it?).
Yes, where is your bloody castle(need I say yet more)
The castle that you don't want anyone to know about...
I bet effisk knows where it is. He just does not know that he knows. But we know he knows and that he does not know that he knows.
Okay but does Effisk know that we are waiting to see if he knows that he doesn't know that he knows that he doesn't know that he knows...(oh f*** it)? That's what I want to know. You know.
And is he going to enlighten us?
As far as Heloises go, the cooking and the knitting is there, as is the classic sense of humor and the way with words. I have so far found 5 female ones (me, Slraep, Heather Gotthard, Ranuka Golz, and Joyce Adamo) and 3 males ( Terry Gotthard, R.G. Doran, and Rosey Greer) and we make it easy to find each other basically reaching out online with the exception of Ranuka who happened to move into my neighborhood when I lived in Northern Germany and Rosey Greer who built up almost a wall around himself but reached out through his books on needlepointing. I guess, the male Heloises have to build up their own network. The only time that ever happened to me (us) was in Bad Bramstedt, Germany, and Renuka Golz from Sri Lanka. It was really nice but we moved to California about a year after Renuka moved to our neighborhood. All other encounters with members of the Paraclete involved traumatic run-ins with Abelards that immediately fell for me. Yikes.
It was not immediate. Although I do have a thing for large women. Something about the lack of a neck really turns be on.
Tragic, tragic love affair, Abe, regardless of your love's missing connection between head and torso. I see, it was her knowledge of Latin, Greek and Hebrew that finally overwhelmed you and set your loins aflame with uncontrollable desire. Your offspring was named Astrolabe?! !!??!?
Did the castration hurt much? Well, I guess that is what you get for giving in to your irrepressible lust for Heloise/Zeide.
heloise was not fat. look at her picture in wikipedia. okay she has long hair but she is no fat ass. she looks like one of those delicate beautiful maidens that lucky knights use to find sitting on a patch of moss in the forest all alone. they had swan necks and thin ankles. they were not built like a front loading commercial washing machine with a fat head of long hair on top. thats ridiculous.
Zeide, by writing that you had some hunted deer roast for Christmas dinner, you "really" mean that it was a scraped tasty tidbit from the interstate, right? Just like the vast natural pearl collection you shamelessly bragged about on the Pearl-Guide was "really" a pile of Chinese freshwaters you scored on eBay, right? I gotcha.
It helps that you are a good cook. It's hard trying to successfully roast out those tire marks.
Z.E
You gave me an entirely different list of names for the multi-parallel lives of Heloise, including the one you gave the Yaqui painting to and connie. I have a letter mentioning I should get in touch with connie, but the one I want to "meet" is the holder of the painting.I know nothing about Connie except she suffers from several major chronic health problems.
I am delighted that I am not one of your fractionated heloise-selves? Is that a solution to the reincarnation problem? Are their multiple fractions of Marie Antoinette leading parallel lives, for instance?
Anonymous wrote:
"I am delighted that I am not one of your fractionated heloise-selves?"
Woe, woe is ME then, Anon.!!! I am supposed to be one of the parallel incarnations of a person(and I use this term loosely)who is a pathological liar, fat, has no neck, is pimply, a candy gobbler, a good cook, a knitter, a vampire, an elf, the direct descendant of Jesus Christ, a renown collector of natural pearls, has a Maserati, drinks only Crimean bubbly(according to the comments in the "Two Shots of Black Pearls" article), is a Haida shamma, is an expert on royal jewels, wears a pearl G-string while surfing the net,........did I miss anything??
I am tall and thin. I don't(or even like to) cook. I own a Smart Car and am in no way related to Jesus or elves---as far as I can tell. And I'm not partial to vampires either.
I'm not Jewish but I think I share the same sentiment as an earlier commentator. Oy Vey!!!
Please keeps these comments going though. I don't think I have laughed so hard in YEARS.
Hey, wait. I have an e-mail where Zeide tells me to get in touch with some lady who sells big sized shoes on eBay. Zeide said she bought shoes from her because she has giant feet. Big feet as in 11-13 size. I never contacted the lady, well because I have tiny feet, and because I always suspected I would just be e-mailing another Zeide and that Zeide just made up someone and I was really going to e-mail her under a different e-mail. What a head case.
I am a vegetarian! I recall a hunting trip with my uncle when I was 7 or so and we girls were called to have some warm blood and raw liver from a still twitching seal. I still shudder at the memory. Ever since then I have avoided eating meat whenever socially possible.
Slreap, yes you did miss something...the family castle.
But I am sure you don't have one of those either.
Zeide might just be the worst liar ever. You know you are a pathetic loser when you can't even lie properly and tell different lies to a group of people that know each other. Loser with a giant capital "L".
slraep sid: "I am supposed to be one of the parallel incarnations of a person(and I use this term loosely)who is a pathological liar, fat, has no neck, is pimply, a candy gobbler, a good cook, a knitter, a vampire, an elf, the direct descendant of Jesus Christ, a renown collector of natural pearls, has a Maserati, drinks only Crimean bubbly(according to the comments in the "Two Shots of Black Pearls" article), is a Haida shamma, is an expert on royal jewels, wears a pearl G-string while surfing the net,.....'
What kind of karma is that? She is a pathological liar and you are not responsible for her delusions!
I luv psycho-babble and I want to include zeide in my live journal account. It has been years since I added to it anyway. She is the first person since 2003 who seems to require some posts! She is a terrible liar and can't even keep her stories straight in this comment section. She starts out having roadkill for xmas dinner and her latest is she's a vegetarian. No doubt she was when she ate only chocolate!
She tells a whole new set of lies to each separate person!
I like this one:
Narcissistic PD
Self Confident Style
“Star Quality”
Except, for Zeide Erskine it should read:
Narcissist and Dumb-ass PD
Grandiose Lying Style
"Obnoxious Quality"
or:
Narcissist and Fat-ass PD
Lying Through One's Teeth Style
"Pestilential Quality"
Is someone going to post something on the "family castle", or what? People are waiting! I can't sleep. Out with it already.
This Zeide Erskine, was she ever in politics? She'd make one fine politician. She's got all the prerequisites.
Are most narcissists pathological liars, or are most pathological liars narcissists?
"You may tell me your lies for that intrigues me. The thought that you think me a fool whilst doing so is what annoys me"
John K. Dighton - WKU Hall of Fame Inductee
Why can't pathological liars be forced to wear something to identify them.
T-shirtguy, they do. They wear a pearl G-string. Yuk!
has anyone actually seen zeide erskine. she said she was 6 feet tall with long hair and dainty earlobes on the pearl guide and now she says she is fat but for all we know she could look like ru paul and be in a wheelchair.
Anonymous said...
"T-shirtguy, they do. They wear a pearl G-string. Yuk!"
I think my testicles just made a hasty retreat back inside my groin.
Zeide, bubbala, ess a bisel eppis. Don't challish, how about some nice chicken soup? Some borsht, maybe? It will help with the farblongjid.
Ru Paul in a wheelchair? BWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It could be worse. Maybe she looks like a big and tall Donatella Verasace.
Borschtsch is the quintessential Channukah soup.
What kind of kockeputzi spelling is that? Why make borsht so complicated? You want some more knaidle in your chicken soup maybe? Or you can have some kreplach with a bissell shmaltz.
Stop being a machashafeh already! A daughter of Jesus you wanna be? Never mind this narishkeit! You'd better eat your soup and take your medication like the nice doctor told you to.
My spelling of Borschtsch is jidisch (yiddish for
anglophone ignoramuses). Borschtsch is good, though. You have to lead a very sporty life to survive Russian food in the long term. Russians tend to be meat lovers. I think Russia has the lowest rate of vegetarians in the world.
I shall envy everyone every minute of the solstice festivities. My husband does not even know how to carve the meat that he craves in copious quantities at every holiday. He is strictly a serve me, entertain me type of guy. Well, he does play saxophone, although I am none too fond of American standard $mas carols played on tenor saxophone.
Ach! You're such a noodnik! Cut the ongeblussen! It's not enough everyone now knows you are a plotka maker? Have another bowl of soup. If you eat more soup and less of that treyf turducken(Meh keyn brechen!)you are so used to, you'll be able to one day maybe wear a pair of shorts without your poulkies looking like pantyhose stuffed with wet oatmeal. Even with long blond hair, a shiksa goddess you are far from!
My father was a fairy about 180cm tall and with silver white hair of roughly the same length. It thinned out a lot around his late 30s but he always kept a pencil-thin braid that was never cut. I cut my hair once to spite my parents when I was 18 and cried for weeks thereafter. I only cut it one more time which was when my father died. At that time, in line with family tradition my oldest son, my daughter and I cut our hair. My husband and my adopted middle son are some of those wannabe US Christians of confused understanding of the concept and he never understood why we 3 fairies in the house never cut our hair no matter how often I blow the motor on the vacuum cleaner. He also does not understand why we 3 fairies can talk to the dog and the cat and he can't.
Where I come from, book on these fellas (http://www.amazon.de/Elfen-Feen-Gnome gro%dfe-Naturgeister/dp/3897671 395/ref=pd_bxgy_w_text_b/028-8812293 6470149?ie=UTF8) are not even considered fiction. Everybody knows that they exist. But then, I am from Medium Tall Fairy Land and my mom is an Native American with bit of Inuit thrown in for good measure. My father was a regular tall fairy, though.
At least the Sorbs in Germany's Spree forest believe that wearing pink pearls is going to endear a person to all elves and fairies that will then immediately help you find the choicest berries and
mushrooms and guide you safely home. In Ostfriesland we have similar myths but in addition margaritifera margaritifera mussels that actually bear pink pearls. Although I was born in Aurich (a Latin-derived name) the town nearby is called Mittegroßefehn (originally Middegrodefeen or medium-tall fairy land). Pfifferling season is a major holiday and in September to early October everbody is out mushrooming and fishing. I miss that.
You know, I live in the bay area and I have seen a lot of fairies wearing G-strings. That does not seem like such a farfetched idea. But the thought of an Amazonian fairy with more protruding hair then the 5-foot locks coming off her head, bulging through the rolls, wrapped around the barely perceptible 18 mm South Sea pearl G-string leaves me just a bit squeamish.
Elf, Shmelf! Ayn klaynigkeit! Now have a few latkes. At least when your mouth and hands are busy the kockamayme spiel stops. Maybe the pearl killeh-bendl you're toochis is in is too tight?
I just got a pearl ring that I bought on eBay. I may have this one tested sometime later but using the means I have here at my disposal, it looks like an 18-20-grain natural Bahraini in top-quality near round. Super water, mirror, and orient and candles clean. There is a partial shadow on one side but not on the other, so there is definitely no bead and the general look is entirely pinctada radiata. I am happy.
I see....you have a private natural pearl testing lab at home in Fresno...
Folks,
I am just counting down the days until we can move away from Fresno. I swear, this town is not fit for human habitation unless and until something drastic happens in the public park building and urban development department like having pedestrian zone shopping districts with street cafés and fountains etc.. Currently the whole structure of this city is designed to confine people rather than offer any of the advantages of urban living. The fact that everybody seems to be afraid of everybody else doesn't help one bit either. And please note, this is the US of A and all those paranoid people are heavily armed.
Don't worry your fat blonde haired head there Zeide. Just use your major-league brain and calculate which direction the bullets are coming from making sure you point your colossal fat ass in that same direction and either the bullet or bullets will ricochet off your pearl G-string or lodge in the economy-sized and solid adipose tissue that has hardened due to prolonged sitting in a chair surfing eBay 24 hours a day. Then, your will most likely live to lie another day...and hopefully the lies will be posted here in the comments section for our veritable amusement.
I love this blog.
By saying that it looks like an 18-20-grain natural Bahraini in top-quality near round, you "really" mean a 00.99 cent "Masami" pearl you got from Balu at AlphImports. I gotcha again. Winky wink.
I can't speak for the rest of the people reading this comment section but for myself I can say with 100% certainty that I will NEVER EVER, in the foreseeable future, be buying 18mm South Sea pearls either from any brick-and-mortar store or any eBay vendor. The mere fleeting idea that there may be an infinitesimal chance those pearls could be traded-ins or resold ones that have previously been housed in Zeide Erkin's ginormous butt crack is making me want to power puke.
Zeide.... move to Utah; I think you have a relative there.
So you got a tokka metziah on some eBay shlock and right away you think it's a natural Bahraini pearl? Nisht gefloygen! Here, have some of this delicious cheesecake I got it from Moishe's, just not so much you are going to plotz. Slow down, your face is already shmootzik. Such a big smart girl like you, it's a shonda you're such a tsucheppenish. And what kind of name is Zeide? Who calls their daughter a grandfather?
I love cheesecake! We have a bakery here nearby that claims to make old-fashioned old-world breads and cakes but all the stuff tastes like cotton balls some with lightly salted shaving foam smeared all over. Maybe I should switch carreers.
You mean switch from your illustrious career of pathologically lying swindler to a lowly baker? The financial translator thing is just more BS, right? If not then heaven help the banks that hire you.
Zeide! How about getting together with chef Robert Irvine and helping him open his third imaginary restaurant called Pants On Fire. He is a knight! He owns castle in Scotland! He has cooked for presidents and royalty and is pals with Prince Charles!
Don't tell me, let me guess. Zeide, your Christmas tree is decorated with unique and rare Jewish theme-ed ornaments. You know, the famous colorful German handmade glass ones except they have Hanukah scenes on them and glittery Stars of David and menorahs.
My Christmas tree ornaments are blown glass, carved wood, stuffed embroideries, and until our move to California also occhi lace work. A lot broke, though but I still can decorate a rather large tree. I used to have enough for 3 major Douglas firs densely decorated in various color schemes but 3 children, two cats (one now deceased), a dog, an 5 moves have severely diminished my once grand collection. US christmas tree ornaments do not seem to catch my fancy.
The Merowingian treasure consists of many items but its not a crown
or big crown jewels. It does involve fixing jewelry and replacing stones both lost, chipped or previously mixed up. And certainly it did not involve taking it with me to California when my family moved for my husband's sake. I still have to learn goldsmithing, though.
Hi Zeid
Here is another email you sent me on the subject. You claimed to be a jew even though Jewish descent goes down the mother's side. That certainly was a foul note. I should have challenged you on that immediately.
Are you descended from Sampson too? What do you mean by a familial thing?
I said it was the family tradition that we descended from Meroe (a
guy) and Sarah (a girl) the latter of which was allegedly the
daughter of Jesus and Mary Magdalene. Mary Magdalene was of the House of Benjamin (a family not a sect) that does not cut their hair unless a loved one dies or they believe to lose their special power of love and care. I never said I inherited the crown but the position of fertility. For some strange coincidence, only one of the children has offspring even if those are several children. There is no crown. That's a distortion made by the Holy Blood Holy Grail people and Dan Brown. Big difference.
Zeide,
I'am another one you told **** to.
I have no idea what the truth of your family is. You told me you were not only the direct descent of Jesus and Mary M, that your family spent time in Meroe before going to an area which is now in the country of Germany. You said your family maintained itself as (Jewish!)royalty from then to the present and you and Jesus were in a sect that did not cut hair. You told me that you inherited the crown from your father in a very special kind of succession, and have many responsibilities in keeping up your family role. It has made you an expert in family jewels because your duties include keeping the crown jewels up. I had assumed if you inherited the title, and the crown jewels, you would be in charge of the paperwork.
The Siberian transgraft South Sea project:
The 20kg were scraped from one or two of the ponds in Heilongjian. My grandfather had 4 children and my father was himself deathly ill with cancer at the time his father died. I do not have any of his records.And a cultured pearl necklace would not have been that expensive in the mid 1920s. It certainly would not have been something somebody "scored." The malleus malleus was the closest kind I have seen in this particular shade of brown. The pearls that S** sent me did not
at all look like any freshwater pearl of either the time she
allegedly bought them or now.
I am always utterly intrigued by the haliotis discus. They are from South Korea and nucleated with coral beads. Heaven knows how they do that. If you look closely, the shapes resemble bells, cauldrons, amphoras, and bullets. I call them my witch pearls.
Speaking of witch. Connie is a very powerful southern dreamer and does not know it. She showed up in
my dreaming wreaking havoc because she did not at all understand the
nature of dreaming.
The shapes in the haliotis discus appear to be the reult of novel
nucleation. Cho-Ki-Sun started experimenting with nucleating haliotis discus already in 1960 and his son Cho-Won-Ho is carrying on the work. Since they have to make the best use of available body cavity space that is generally not round, most of their nuclei are drop shaped. Still, I don't think I have seen any real regular drops. It looks more like haliotis is a surreal artist when it comes to build on the shapes of nuclei. Tissue nucleation in the mantle tends to produce solid round pearls, though, and chemical burns in the mantle near inevitably produce stick pearls. In haliotis kamtschatkana those stick pearls are just about universally hollow. In other abalones they tend to be solid.
The thing Zeide wrote on abalone pearls is so incredibly fucked up that only an total idiot would come up with stuff like that---that and the Jesus thing. Why do pathological liars all make believe they are royalty(but royalty wasn't enough for Zeide, she had to be a descendant of God's only son?!?!?)? Any time someone throws out that they are "royalty" a giant gong should bong in your head and an eye searing red flag should go up immediately, especially if this is being written online or on a forum.
If abalone pearls do not have the oil-slick effect, they are not abalones. This wild orient together with hollowness is a defining characteristic of the pinto. Round pintos and pebble-shaped ones can be solid. As soon as they get elongated, they are hollow or not pinto. In the cultured h. rufescens it is slightly different. Their lesser mobility does allow for long thick sticks to form solid. This happens hardly ever in wild catch. In abalone farms, however, they do occur like that mostly because in a larger-density population there is a greater chance for jelly fish attacks and the abalones don't have to go far to forage for food. Chalk it up to a sedantary lifestyle.
I have another strand of the Russian cultured abalone where the pearls formed around the surgical bandaid. They are almost but not quite stick shape and somewhat hollow (as is usual for abalone pearls) but quite large and spectacular. Abalone sticks are pricey items and all are raw, unusual, and solid. I also have a strand of fat, plump, long-drill sticks from haliotis rufens. They formed in the process of mabé culture in California red abalones.The two abalone strands are probably the perfect basis of comparison for stick pearls not to mention that none of the pieces is a retail comparison as all of them are strictly collectors' market only.
In case you are wondering why the pintos (black abalone) are partially hollow that is because they are supposed to be like that. That's characteristic of them. The sticks grew around the surgical bandaids used to close the wound from the tissue nucleation for the rounds. Abalone are hemophiliac but they can heal if the wound edges are held together. Although it does not happen in nature like that, people can do it. So here is the living proof that abalone pearls can be cultured whole not just as mabés.
The haliotis rufens I bought from the girlfriend of a Monterey(California) abalone farmer. The girl in question studied at the Monterey Institute of International Sudies where my husband taught translation at that time. She wanted my white rounds and I wanted her psychedelic sticks (I think they deserve some nicer name).
The haliotis rufens are amazing. That's why I originally bought them. I have some clue why they are so uniform and solid (the result of chemical burn from jelly fish stings and they developed near the vent holes where the shell is least curved in a straight healing reaction not involving transplanted tissue) but why they are so lustrous is anybody's guess. They simply formed very well. Just because there were pearl plated plastic domes cultivated in them does not seem to be a contributing factor. All the other haliotis keshis I've seen were light years behind.
As far as the black abalone necklace goes, the one I have was actually cultured in Siberia off the Kamtschatka peninsula. The operation is strictly illegal, does not pay taxes, and the mere idea of customs makes the two brothers that operate the place cringe. They sail (with a dingy sailboat) to Japan and sell them there as naturals. One of them found an old French marine biology book that described Louis Boutan's success of culturing free abalone pearls in France about 100 years ago. Since the Japanese trader they had an arrangement with paid them handsomely for abalone flesh and the occasional pearl, they decided to investigate the possibility of enhancing their economic situation through perliculture. They found some articles by Peter Fankboner on the subject but still did not know how to overcome the hemophilia problem. The saving angel was their sister a surgical nurse that not only told them about surgical bandaids but also what the term "open blood circulation in the mantle" meant and procured a goodly supply of surgical strips for her brothers. The rest is smugglers' history.
Yes, I even own the 6.7-7-58mm strand comprising most of Peter Fankboners round kamtschatkanas plus some more to make a full strand from Russia. I also have a full strand of coral bead nucleated haliotis discus from South Korea. They are a touch on the hideous side short of the bell shaped one and a few of the cauldrons. Most look like giant bullets, though. I have a good picture of the round tissue nucleated ones that clearly shows their deep and quiet water with the orient well outside the pearls. Inreal life, they look almost glassy and exude rainbow colors from a minimum of 75cm distance. The round kamtschatkanas have so much water that in bright daylight under close inspection, the look like 7mm smoky topaz beads. As soon as you move them at arm's length or more, they look like 10mm mardigras beads.
Z.E. said....
"That's a distortion made by the Holy Blood Holy Grail people and Dan Brown."
how nutty. so dan brown and the "holy blood holy grail" people are the ones distorting stuff, huh? i think maybe meds like someone suggested are not going to be very effective here. i suggest a straight jacket made of sturdy duct tape.
You have abalone pearls from Fankboner??? Well, no wonder he does not have many himself and nobody else has any to brag about either! He gave most of the fruits of his hard labour to you! Why not! You are the direct descendant of Jesus Christ and a famous exotic pearl collector. Naturally, people automatically shower you with gifts of gold, frankincense, myrrh and PEARLS!!!!!!!
Could this person be Zeide Erskine's sister?
ANOTHER ONE
Wait...here's a guy who is also a descendant of Jesus. He is Japanese and a Buddhist. Still, he is more believable than Zeide Erskine.
JAPANESE JESUS
Anonymous said...
"i suggest a straight jacket made of sturdy duct tape."
Can anyone really afford the expense of such a vast amount of duct tape in these turbulent financial times? Does Walmart even carry that much duct tape without it having to be "specially ordered".
ZE said "The operation is strictly illegal, does not pay taxes, and the mere idea of customs makes the two brothers that operate the place cringe. They sail (with a dingy sailboat) to Japan and sell them there as naturals."
These are totally imaginary haliotis pearls but she had to dress it up by saying she buys from poachers!!!!
That is so brazen! And so politically incorrect! Only someone with no insight would be able to lie like this and not keep track of what she is saying.
If there is a hall of fame for non-murderous pathilogical liars, ZE should certainly be nominated.
Speaking of those "natural" abalone sticks- they had thousands of them in the GemMall. Yup, freshwater pearls in a great new dye color ( that was 2007). I picked up a few because they are reminiscent of abalone. I even put the sticks into a couple of pieces with abalone shell beads, an interesting interplay of colors.
I am disgusted that someone would palm them off as abalone. She belongs in a 2 bit stall in a foreign market. China maybe?
There used to be a little war going on between moi and the pearl-plating industry that culminated in the alleged frankenfish attack. That is just one tiny bit.
There is also some really weird stuff going on that is about as obscure and far more dangerous than Hitler's occult war. This one is centered around Rupert Murdoch who is recruiting the "dark side of the force" to get WWIII going. Pitted against him in this fight is a group of 13 women of power and their pearls to thwart his efforts. Only this time evil does not have to rally support through some kind of cooked up ideology but will probably win by calling on the twin deities of the Western World called Convenience and Egocentricity. Try to stay peripheral unless and until you are absolutely certain of your power and your dreaming. Try not to Dream alone and be careful who you share pictures with. Whoever can picture you can enter your dreaming.
I believe there is a free DNA test for all the descendants of myself and Mary Magdalene. With some luck, YOU could turn out to be one of Zeide Erskine's family members.
http://www.christslight.org/english/announcements dna_test.htm
Zeide, forget about being careful who you share your picture with. It's the people you share your e-mails with that you should worry about. Fuck, you can't get anything right, can you? Getting WWIII going will be so easy with you personally thwarting my efforts. Hahahahaha. You total numbskull !!!!.
Z.E. said.....
" Whoever can picture you can enter your dreaming."
Zeide, I have a funny feeling that even if I accidentally managed to "see" you somehow, I would be wanting to get that haunting image out of my mind as fast as humanly possible. Furthermore, to want to enter YOUR dreaming, is something that I would never dream of. BLEH!! ....I need a shower...
I just looked through my family pictures and strangely enough they almost all just show my husband and my adopted son. All pictures of my daughter or my son show them in some kind of disguise and from me you only get to see the occasional sholder or foot. I hate photo-ops with a passion probably because I had to do so much posing in my late teens when I supplemented my income as a prancing coat hanger(read: fashion model). Sometimes I don't even show in pictures that were taken for passports and the like. It once drove a photographer for the INS (immigration and naturalization service) nuts when he had to take 5 pictures of me until I finally showed up on it. The picture is to be printed directly onto the green card that already has finger prints and personal data on it and you can only do the shooting once per card. So he had to do the whole card thing and fingerprinting over and over again.
So you have sharp front teeth that grown when you get hungry too?
I bet they are as white as pearls! You know the type of pearls I am talking about. They come from the Gold-lip.
I am one of those people that do not have their photographs taken lightly. Its a shamma thing. You can extrapolate until I am on your doorstep. I shall be wearing my red pearls and there will be no mistaking me. Although I have plenty of turquoise, none of it has any noticeable power. Except maybe startling power like my Wilma Flintstone 1.5 pound (metric) turquoise necklace. It can kill you particularly when being hit over the head with it. There are not that many women my height and my hair length to mistake me with anyway. And generally, we shammas tend to be photo shy because seeing a picture allows others to wander over into our dreaming and that can be pretty cumbersome when one is dreaming against an angry spirit as I am right now. Hopefully this will be over in a few months or so.
That makes one wonder... what do those Shammas smoke? Pearl powder?
That angry spirit you are dreaming against---it wouldn't by any chance be someone from the P-G forum who's moniker starts with the letter "S", would it?
Cheech said...
"That makes one wonder... what do those Shammas smoke? Pearl powder?"
I think in Zeide's case it is more like crack cocaine. Smokin' crack while reading a book by David Icke. Rupert Murdoch indeed!
Did you read about the Siberian mummy over 2,700 years old? After a complete analysis of her grave goods, a wooden box of high quality shit was found near her hand.
Now that's a real shamma!
Hey, that stuff's not cool man. Pearl powder is so smooth...and cool...a great high!
You should talk. Pearl powder is not smoke-able. Besides he was talking about shamma-dreaming-right? The proof is in the grave.
How the crap you smoke pearl-powder? In one of my bongz?
Should the ginormous Zmon get her 13 pearl-bearing wimmen of power with pearls, working on grinding up their pearls to smoke?
Hey pearl-pr0f get these smokin' fools off this comments section. Oh, I get it- you are really the Pearl-puff!
OMG! This comment came straight off the net in 1971!Another forum, yet!
"What made me wonder was a strand of pearls I saw in Bahrein in the early 80s that was a deep red with purple, blue, and gold overtones. It was then as is now illegal to sell or even own cultured and particularly dyed pearls in Bahrein, so they had to be natural pearls of natural color. Now I'm trying to find out what animal they came from. Although the abalone produces a red nacre shell when feeding on red kelp and, as such, should be producing also red pearls if it so does, I don't think that there are many abalone and much red kelp in the Arabian Gulf. I may be wrong about that, but the purpura snail is still a hot candidate with me. Zeide"
My interpretation is that as late as 2001, you had not heard of (nor made up) Lop Noor pearls yet, which also means you had not collected any either. I also wonder how you got them so well matched in size and uniform in color. They still just scream “dyed freshwater pearl” to me. I think you found some especially lustrous dyed freshwaters and cherry picked them for that strand. Again, as a necklace you supposedly put together over a period of time, I find it suspicious that you do not have a single sales slip or store name. In fact all you have is the same back-up that you have offered with all your other claims, which is no proof at all
P.S.I have not seen anything on the tissue nucleated Mikimoto that appeared in court in Leonard Rosenthal's hand, yet.
Here is another online source of Z-quotes. A poster wrote,
"I have been wracking my brain about trying to figure out if I Read something in one of my pearls books or was brousing the net and came across a blurb on red pearls from italian waters.... I am not finding it in any of my books Pearls a natural history, The Book of the Pearl, or The book of pearls by Joan Younger Dickinson.
Here is Zeide's answer:
"Italian red pearls would come from pinna nobilis. There are several other species including Burmese pinctada maxima, the Atlantic pinctada atropurpurea, the North American Tampico pearly mussel, plus several more rare species that produce red pearls. Still, red pearls are very rare and highly sought after. In the Far East they are considered the ultimate symbol of wisdom and power and in the Western World they were considered the symbol of ultimate royalty." zeide
This topic has not been addressed or been put up for discussion on it's own.
Thankfully my pearling skills are advanced enough for me to see pearl quality and I do not need a tooth test to tell whether they are real or not, otherwise my pearling days would be over.
A hyerinfection sparked off a so-called super eruption and now I have to pay all this nice money to a not-so-nice Californian dentist. A super eruption is when your immune system is turning against your teeth and they are popping out all at the same time. No fun I tells yer. They basically all have to come out (4 molars already did while I was barely conscious in the hospital) and I'll have to get used to the idea of dentures.
I have to get some cost estimates but it will not come cheap. At least I won't have to worry about cavities after that and my teeth can go to the dentist without me ever after.
I don't think implants are going to work because they would likely be also attacked by my immune system. Maybe sometime later. I guess the problem came from my immune system running in super high gear and then got all this assistance from the three most powerful antibiotics known to mankind that it looked for a different target and decided to go after my teeth. I should count myself licky, I could have gotten an explosive MS attack just as well.
My teeth have never been anything to write home about short of my fangs. I have to insist on my dentures having wolf fangs again. It used to scare people so I rarely smiled. Maybe I should get into dentures as accessories. You know, several sets with fangs and without.
Hi Folks,
Has anyone seen The Dance of The Vampires yet, please rest assured that the English version is only a pale recreation of the German original. I am finally getting the professional shot of the Hamburg performance. That's a real treat. If you ever watched the video clips under my old Pearl Guide forum signature, you'll have seen a good trailer. I am very much looking forward to that.
Hey Cheech, man, I don't know about you but I'm starting to get a buzz just reading the excellent psychedelic shit in these comments. Cheaper than weed, man, and you don't have to bum a light off anyone.
What is the deal with pearl powder, Cheech. You know we don't smoke that shizznit!
Chong said...
"What is the deal with pearl powder, Cheech. You know we don't smoke that shizznit!"
Hey you dummy, Tommy C.(me) is Tommy Chong!!! How many Chongs are we gonna have here??? Stop smoking dogshit and find yourself another identity dude or people are going to mistake you for the crazy woman.
Fangs? Fangs?????
Anonymous said...
"Fangs? Fangs?????"
Yes, fangs. And not just fangs but dentures with fangs.
I suppose one has to use an extra lining of powerful denture adhesive on "stalking and feeding" nights.
This comment section has convinced me that I need some kind of protection when I go out at night and while asleep. Yes I live in Fresno. They say that not all vampires drink the blood of their victims. Sometimes it is only sexual energy which is exchanged. I also think I am an Abelard. HELP. PLEASE. PLEASE. Someone suggest something to comfort my fears that are now getting a little out of control.
the family castle, not showing up in pictures, talks to animals, has fangs, watches "dance of the vampires" while drinking crimean bubbly, long blonde hair, cannot tolerate the light(written on pearl guide),.....it's almost believable except the drooling over turdunkin just killed everything for me.
i forgot the "accelerated immune system". still, that turdunkin just puts a wrench in it.
XXX....bite me.....rawwwwwr.
Vampires DON'T dance!
Hi Folks,
I'm just wondering if any of you have watched Manitou's Shoe yet? I just love this movie with a passion. If you watch the German version make sure to turn on the subtitles. The whole movie has been shot in Austo-Bavarian which is almost incomprehensible to Northern Germans. The call it the South States Dialect. However, the subtitles are
constantly making fun of what is actually being said on the screen. Hilareous to the max that.
We have a lot of Lenni Lenape and Mohaws in Ostfriesland although there are mostly Alaska Natives around the coast. The thug phenomenon is not that pronounced in Germany but I have seen it on many reservations here in the US. My general strategy is to learn as much of the language as needed for a decent conversation and make sure that I use the proper women's form when talking. Generally, the thugs are barely able to speak their own language and get thrown off when an outsider does.
My favorite part of Dance of The Vampires is the "Red Boots Ballet".
If you liked the Dance of the Vampires, too, I can forwarding you the newest list of pirated Musicals by me, Karl the Great. You just have to love me. I am a lighting engineer for stage performances and a prime source for the hottest in musical world. I charges GBP 5.00 per disc.
Hi Karl,
This is getting curouser and curiouser. I am wearing US size 11-12 shoes (Euro 43). How about that? I also noticed that when I was still living in Germany, I always wore red boots temperature permitting (which it almost always did).
I recently saw on google that there was a limited edition DVD of the Hamburg TdV Benefit performance for the victims of the December 2004 Tsunami. Can you find a copy of that or any other Copy of a Hamburg TdV performance (preferably with Felix Martin as von Krolock)?
This comment section is so disorganized, I forget what I was saying.
So back to the 20k scraped from the bottom of the ponds I referred to earlier. There were some big ones in there but not many and definitely no really nice ones. Of the better ones I made a few multicolor strands all of which I gave away, one of them to D-----a. Nothing of this is a sales pitch, actually the gift to j---n was an anti-sales pitch showing her what happens to akoyas when they get older and giving her some comparison strands of interesting but worthless pearls (the bats), new akoyas PPBs, and a nice strand of pink cultured pearls plus one pair of earrings as samples of what the transgrafts look like (they proved to be an exact match to her PearlParadise South Sea strand) and another pair plus some high orient single pearls so she could gauge whether any of her other pearls had orient that she was unable to see according to her own words. I did not even ask her for shipping costs, so you can't say I conned her.
On another note, I should not have mentioned on the forum that I have some nice klonks, I am getting inundated with inquiries.
Those university projects also keep throwing that crap at me thinking that it will impress me in any way that it certainly does not. Again, I told a certain Pearl-Guide member that akoyas are a waste of money and I even send her a strand of not-quite-as-crappy natural color ones I got from Korea for free with a strand of 8mm Heilonjians, a strand of Bat pearls, and pteria penguin keshi studs and South Sea transgraft dangle earrings and a two exotic singles thrown in for good measure as comparative base.
Still she wanted the golden and silver akoyas. Since she also wanted a tri-cord knotter and a whole beader suitcase and a video with stringing instructions and blah, blah, blah, I told her that I would ship it all to her gladly but her wish list is getting too long for my charity urges. So I charged her a lump sum and threw some exotic akoyas in. The profit margin on that would not even pay me for taking it to the post office. However, she'll get great appraisals on her wonderful marine pearls. That should compensate her for having been settled with that "freshwater crap" the GIA is trying so hard to talk down.
If the first vampire somehow materialized on Jan. 1,1600 when the human population was only 536,870,911 and fat ass-uming that the vampire fed once a month and the victim turned into a vampire, there would then be two vampires and 536,870,910 humans on Feb. 1. There would be four vampires on March 1 and eight on April 1. If this continued, all of the humans would become vampires within two and a half years and there would be nobody else left to suck dry.
This is called geometric progression. Present times ,though, give evidence that some humans must have hid themselves well, and that only the very few vampires who were good enough cooks and able to stomach things like turducken, survived.
Math does not explain everything. If you think it does then you've miscalculated.
Louis de Pointe du Lac: Vampires pretending to be humans, pretending to be vampires.
Claudia: How avant-garde.
math and history suck
Um...does anyone remember Zeide's freakishly shaped blue colored bat pearls? They were suppose to be the result of some type of porphyria contamination. But..but..but.. humans can get porphyria too and it has been nominated repeatedly as a medical condition that produces pallor, giving the individual a somewhat bloodless appearance. Victims are highly sensitive to sunlight and therefore are likely to adopt lifestyles resembling the nocturnal vampire.
Crazy, huh?
*Sigh* If only Zeide's brained was half the size of her leisure time...
Zye-duh, you are not actually drinking blood, are you? Drinking blood can put you at risk for all kinds yucky gross diseases nowadays. Maybe it's an iron deficency. See your doctor and while you're at it ask him to check you in for a while...
I'll believe in a big-and-tall, blonde haired and giant footed vampire that trolls pearl forums, has a castle and surfs eBay all day long the minute they prove Aunt Jemima and the Pillsbury Dough Boy are real.
...maybe that is why she sits at her computer all day buying stuff on ebay. maybe because she would disintegrate if she went out during daylight. maybe she is frustrated.
Nothing a wide brimmed hat and frequent applications of SPF60 couldn't remedy. Also eating that turdunkin rare. Yeah, the bacon might be a little chewy.
After reading this and the problems with the incredible glare on our patio when taking pearl pictures has given me the idea to finally purchase a hat. I think my new hat is practical and pretty even though it is Thai with a "made in Vietnam" tag glued in. What the heck, my kashmiri beaded purses have "made in China" tags for reasons of customs duties and avoidance of such. By the way, I just checked again and the Thai hat has a "made in China" label, only the box was made in Vietnam. Anyhow, it will hopefully serve its purpose well.
Hi Folks,
If any of you knew CompuServe at the time of the O.J. trial, you will probably know about LawSig. If there is one subject I know 10 times as much about as about pearls its forensics. I have studied forensics since I've been able to read. What popped up most clearly in my mind when the JonBenet case broke was Helen Priestly. And not just because of the similarity of circumstances in their bodies being found but also because of Helen's last name. There definitely was a priest involved. He may have been the one who made an accident look like a crime or he may have been the outright killer, but there definitely was a priest.
Henry Lee, who by the way also worked for the O.J. defense team, can tell you one more thing. You cannot traipse through a crime scene without leaving DNA evidence unless you are wearing a BL4 suit and an exclusion is ironclad while inclusions are unscientific. For instance, in the O.J. case, the prosecution had O.J. matched to 98% to a blood stain found there. The problem with that is that at a 98% match to an MHC that is about as ironclad an exclusion you can get. In this case the various samples were all missing various MHC sections that O.J. had. And in the Karr case, it was the same. If you, for instance, collect DNA samples and the the mixed sample at the crime scene contains a full match to the suspect and then some extra markers from one or more other individuals, the suspect would not be excluded but could certainly not be identified by that match. Any such inclusion would require supporting circumstantial evidence. However if the mixed sample is missing MHC sections that the suspect does have, there is no doubt about it. It's just not the suspect's DNA, not even as part of the mix.
The Karr guy made it all up and has been iron-clad excluded from being JonBenet's murderer. I tell you, his phantasies had no depth. They were clearly phantasies and no memories. I thought so right away because his imagery had no smells.
I got any interest in decay worked out of me in a seminar on "modern archaeology" also known as "garbagology" which is a must for all archaeologost of non-paleology persuasion and also for the forensics students. A good dose of dating "floaters" (water corpses) and comparing them to real bog mummies (the latter typically not presented physically but rather through autopsy tapings) and fake bog mummies (typically WWI or WWII soldiers or wannabe outdoorsies who did not know how to hike in a moore and due to abundant availability often available and presented for live, in-class autopsy) tends to cure you from any such like ambitions. Iban burial practices have also helped diverting me from developing any such unsavory habits.
I can tell you, floaters and boggers ain't fun. The floaters look more eerie, though, because they are so pale. The boogers are far more life-like thanks to the tanning action of bog acid. The boggers smell better, too. Although that is a purely relative statement.
whats this about life-like boogers?
Rupert Murdoch is the most dangerous man in the world.
Now we can also add "archaeologist" and "forensics expert" to the long list of Ziede Gerkin's bullshit credentials. I'm so impressed!
Does anyone understand her gobbledygook about O.J.? .... I don't even want to go into the JonBenet thing. A priest? Well, someone needs one for sure. Nothing like a good 'ol Vatican sanctioned exorcism to fix some people, although sometimes it fails.
Anonymous said...
"whats this about life-like boogers?"
I think what Ze Gerkin is trying to say is that if you pull one out of your nose and it looks a little crumbly and dehydrated due to the harsh desiccating power of modern central heating systems people have on in their homes during winter, a little dip in bog acid should bring that sucker back to life. Where does one buy bog acid, though?
It's "LAWSIG" and 'Compuserve", oh mighty Gerkin, NOT "LawSig" and "CompuServe". Geez.
"EXORCISM"! Did I hear exorcism? Rasputin...... come on up.
It's all making perfect sense now...LAWSIG...yeah, that's where you learned how to turn your lying into an art form!!!! Way to go fat Gerkin! Ziede Gerkin!
RASPUTIN! RASPUTIN!! RASPUTIN!!! RASPUTIN!!!! RASPUTIN!!!!!
Isn't "Karl the Great" another name for Charlemagne of the Holy Roman Empire of the German Nation?? And now "he" is selling pirated CDs in a blog's comment section with Zeide Erskine as a customer??? Oh how the mighty have fallen(I mean Charlemagne and you too, fat ass).
Zeide, I think you should stop serial watching those imagination-stimulating Matrix movies and immediately chuck them into the trash can. Or if you can't bring yourself to do that then at least put down the Crimean bubbly and sauerkraut!
this is very interesting especially if you throw in some I Ching, Fung Shui and a few things that Falun Gong leader Li HongZhi said from his cushy digs in NY.
........lions, unicorns, and leopards, then bears and wolves(wolf clan, huh?), and lastly dogs. You know what I mean, Zeide Erskine.
Zeide, so you think O. J. Simpson is innocent??????? That's nutso.
Elves are cute, responsible and trustworthy. The little pointy eared freaks work day and night all year round to make Christmas toys. They also bake some awesome cookies. Some like to adorn breakfast cereal box covers. Others are a little taller and cooler looking and are good at shooting arrows into enemies, as in "Lord of The Rings". And every year there is an Elf Expo in Las Vegas.
Now where does a brazen lying sunlight-shunning lumbering fat- ass with no neck, no teeth, no shoes, no bra, no natural pearl collection, and no shame, fit into the elf cadre?
She's NOT A MEDIUM SIZED ELF, she's A MAMMOTH TROLL.
I can't get past your husband selling your engagement ring's gold, resetting the diamond as a pendant and then hiding it in a cheap rice cooker!!! Every morning I wake up and that story pops into my head! I can tell you that ever since reading that, I have found new appreciation for my own hubby.
Although hubby has many qualities that endear me to him (e.g. we mostly fight about greek grammar), romance is not part of it. He is about as romantic as a sigmoidoscopy. Maybe he will learn some day. I'd rather suffer a klutz than a fool.
Chris' idea of a romantic gift is to get the cheapest pendant they have at a given department store wherever that happens to be at and hide it in a sensible pair of shoes (happened two Christmases ago) that did not fit me and had to be returned for an exchange. He also owes me just for money earning work I did for him something in excess of US$ 20,000.00 that he has not the faintest inclination of ever paying me. So I just laugh at it. He is a Sctosman by heritage and just can't hide it. He is also a cuddly teddy bear.
As far as the debt goes, I forgive Chris his monetary debts to me every year on his birthday. The US$ 20,000.00 aren't even the largest bill he has racked up with me in any given year. The funny thing is that he always complains that I am not paying enough of the bills gracefully ignoring the tens of thousands of US$s I forgive him every year.
Zeide, you have waaaaayyyyyyy too much time on your hands. Remember the old saying, "Idle hands are the devil's tools.", or is it, "Idle hands make for a devilish fool." Well something like that.....
My son is living his own life in San Diego, my adopted is half-way into life with vocational training at the community college level and his first real job. That leaves my daughter and my überbaby Chris. I've got some spare time.
As romantic as a sigmoidoscopy? OMG. I am imagining something that should never be imagined let alone written down.
All that spare time...sitting on your ass 200 days at a time...gaining 200 pounds....gorging yourself on 200 Turduckens!
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